The Art of Friending
The Art of Friending - 5 Guys Series
Pastor Josh McPherson, July 28, 2019
Text: Proverbs 13:20
The two deepest human impulses are: to be known and to be loved.
Friendship Matters Because We Were Made From It
Friendship Matters Because We Were Made For It
Friendship Matters Because We Are Made By It
Key Principle: Get your friends right, get your life right
"He who walk with the wise becomes wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm." Proverbs 13:20
Why Friendship is Suffering
2) Increased Work Weeks
3) Social Media
5 Kinds of Friends You Need
1. You Need a Friend Who Sharpens Your Edge
"As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend." Prov. 27:17
2. You need a Friend who Stays in your Fight
"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity." Prov. 17:17
3. You need a Friend who Speaks the Truth
"Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses." Prov. 27:4-5
4. You need a Friend who Strengthen's Your Heart (hand)
One day Jonathan the son of Saul said to the young man who carried his armor, “Come, let us go over to the Philistine garrison on the other side..." Within the passes, by which Jonathan sought to go over to the Philistine garrison, there was a rocky crag on the one side and a rocky crag on the other side...Jonathan said to the young man who carried his armor, “Come, let us go over to the garrison of these uncircumcised. It may be that the Lord will work for us, for nothing can hinder the Lord from saving by many or by few.” And his armor-bearer said to him, “Do all that is in your heart. Do as you wish. Behold, I am with you heart and soul.” 1 Samuel 14:6-7
5. You need Friends who Stokes your Jesus Fire
Getting to know me:
How did you do on Pastor Josh’s challenge to write down the names of five or six good friends?
What do you think of the idea that our two strongest impulses are to be known and to be loved?
What ways do you see that social media has a negative effect on friendship?
Into the Bible:
Prov 13:20: What’s the point of the verse? How can we pick out wise people to “walk with”? How can we spot fools to avoid?
Prov 27:17: What does this verse mean? What does it look like when two friends sharpen each other?
How can we gain the most benefit from being sharpened by our friends?
Prov 17:17: How can we be the sort of friend mentioned in this verse?
Prov 27:5-6: What does the writer have in mind in the phrase, ”the wounds of a friend”? How would a friend wound you? How does this fit with the idea of “speaking the truth in love” in Ephesians 4:15?
1 Samuel 14:6-7: What difference would it make to Jonathan to know his armor bearer was wholeheartedly with him, or not? How can we be that sort of friend to people around us? What is required for us to receive that sort of support? [Hint: Jonathan told the other guy what he had in mind before the other guy expressed support.]
1 Samuel 23:16: What does it mean to encourage someone? What would it mean to encourage them “in God”? What understanding did Jonathan have of God’s support for David? [Hint: see v17] How can we encourage people around is “in the Lord”?
1. In light of Prov 13:20, consider who you need to unfriend. Consider also 1 Corinthians 15:33 and Prov 18:24. What might it mean to unfriend someone in this sense?
2. Prov 12:26: Who do you need to pursue or befriend?
What do you think of the idea of Jesus as your friend? [See John 15:13-15]
3. Who do you need to become?
4. From Luke 6:40, how can we become who we need to be?
Proverbs 13:20 He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.
Proverbs 27:17 Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.
Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
Proverbs 27:5-6 Better is open rebuke than love that is concealed. 6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.
1 Samuel 14:6–7 Then Jonathan said to the young man who was carrying his armor, “Come and let us cross over to the garrison of these uncircumcised; perhaps the Lord will work for us, for the Lord is not restrained to save by many or by few.” 7 His armor bearer said to him, “Do all that is in your heart; turn yourself, and here I am with you according to your desire.”
1 Samuel 23:15–16 15 Now David became aware that Saul had come out to seek his life while David was in the wilderness of Ziph at Horesh. 16 And Jonathan, Saul’s son, arose and went to David at Horesh, and encouraged him in God.
Proverbs 18:24 24 A man of too many friends comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals.”
Proverbs 12:26 The righteous is a guide to his neighbor, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.
Luke 6:40: “A pupil is not above his teacher; but everyone, after he has been fully trained, will be like his teacher.”